Post by admin1 on Dec 14, 2008 14:17:27 GMT -7
Posted at the request of a friend by Admin.
Matthew as a Second Language
“Whoa, pizza, M, wa pease, Applebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!”
These are a few of Matthew’s favorite things; of course he sings this to us accompanied by the corresponding hand/body signs. Let me translate.
Whoa
This means “roller coaster”. He says this with both arms raised above his head, his hands waving. Picture a bunch of kids showing off on the roller coaster, before they are out of sight of the onlookers and grab the hand bar for dear life.
Pizza
Just what you think it is. The good news is he will eat the cheap ones – one topping.
While saying “pizza”, Matthew extends one arm and “draws” a circle in the air in front of him with his finger.
M
This one is easy too – McDonalds!
Matthew says this while making the sign for the letter "M".
Thank God for the dollar menu and McChicken sandwiches! I swear if a nuclear war broke out, Matthew would be okay if only one McDonalds with a limitless supply of chicken patties survived.
Wa pease
A compound sentence! Water Please.
Form your hand like you are holding an invisible glass and hold it to your lips!
And finally, the grand finale….
Applebeeeeeee’s
This one is pretty obvious too – it’s his favorite place for a real dinner out, Applebee’s.
This is sung with enthusiasm, as both arms are raised above the head and slightly wider than the shoulders, just like a performer preparing to take a bow.
Perhaps I should begin at the beginning.
Matthew is our youngest child. He is now 14 years old, soon to be 15. Matthew has been diagnosed with Autism.
Those of you who have or care for a child with any disability know what an impact that makes on your life and the lives of those around you. It means you must learn to make adjustments. It means you have to constantly find the strength to accept your child for what he or she is, and the strength to discover what all of you can become. It is not an easy thing, but it is a labor of love. Most of all, it means you must become a “life long learner”, and your teacher is your disabled child.
Now, why did I title this column “Matthew as a Second Language”? Communication is what makes the world go ‘round, and if your child has little or no verbal ability, you have to find a way to communicate with him and he with you.
When Matthew was initially diagnosed with Autism, we met with all the professionals. After all, we were just lowly parents, absolutely unprepared for and uniformed about autism and what it means. We spoke with doctors, teachers, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors and on and on and on.
When Matthew was older, we received all types of professional advice on how to build his communication skills. We were told:
PECS is the answer.
Sign Language will be the best approach. Start now.
A talking computer will solve this for you and he will love it.
We tried them all.
We were repeatedly told: “Matthew has to learn to ‘talk’ like everyone else.” He has to learn to communicate his needs so we can understand him. The focus always seemed to be on Matthew’s ability to “talk” like everyone else, if even through different modalities, like PECS, etc. The goal was to make Matthew as ‘normal’ as possible.
We listened and believed, at first anyway.
As we came to know Matthew as Matthew, we realized how much frustration he was feeling because he could not tell us what he wanted or needed. Honestly, we were just as frustrated. PECS was just so complicated – how do you organize hundreds of little pictures so he can build a sentence “easily”? How easy is it to learn sign language? The computer is a good idea, but you still have thousands of pictures to deal with on multiple screens.
We wanted to know Matthew! We wanted him to know us.
Finally the light bulb went off in our heads. All the pictures he kept handing to us, all the ‘signs’ he kept repeating, all the words he was trying to say, this was Matthew trying to “speak” to us in his own language. He had been learning from PECS, sign language and the computer talker. He had already learned our language. HE understood us. We just had not learned to understand Matthew, in his “language”.
We suddenly realized that getting Matthew to “talk” like us, even with all the tools and techniques was not the goal we should have been pursuing. Learning to talk like Matthew was the better approach, thus “Matthew as a Second Language”. We wanted to know our son, and he had been trying to help us do so.
We had listened to all the professionals and ignored Matthew. In his own way Matthew was working out his own way to “talk” to us.
My wife and I had always said, “Look at his eyes, there is a person in there trying to get out. This kid is not dumb, watch his smile; watch what he tries to do. He is making connections. No wonder he is so frustrated. He has things to say.
Matthew was “talking” to us. We just did not speak his language. The repetition of one word, the “signs”, the grunts of frustration, the attempts with PECS, this was Matthew communicating. We just were not hearing. So we went to school, and Matthew led the class.
Matthew had been learning all the communication tools the professionals had taught us. He had pieced them all together and built his own language. Now we had to learn, and here are some samples of the lessons Matthew gave us.
Sign Language
Matthew had learned to tell us he wanted to go to bed in a couple of ways. The most common was when he put his hands palms together and placing them along side his tilted head, picture yourself mimicking putting your head on a pillow. We knew this sign and understood it.
He also learned to indicate when he wanted to go swimming. He did this by making motions with his arms as if he was performing the breaststroke in a pool, and saying “1…2” (counting his strokes). We knew this sign and understood it.
At one point he started putting these signs together. First he would sign “going to bed” then immediately follow it with the swimming sign. Needless to say, this was confusing. I would usually laugh and tell him that you could not swim in your sleep. He would say “NO!” then grunt at me, and storm off or he’d find some other way to indicate my ignorance.
This went on every day for over a week. One day I woke up and realized he was trying to tell me something else. I told him that I did not understand what he wanted. And I asked him to show me what he wanted, if he could. No grunt of frustration this time.
He took me by the hand and guided me to the hall closet. We kept the closet latched because he would go in there and take out the coats, suit cases and whatever else he could get his hands on. He was good at taking things out, but not at putting them back, thus the latch.
I opened the closet for him. He pulled out a suitcase and repeated the sleeping and swimming signs, followed by pointing at the suitcase. At this point I had a “Eureka!” moment. I looked at Matthew and asked, “Do you want to go to a hotel?”. Boy was his smile big when he replied “yea”.
The gears in my brain started turning. Matthew had not just confirmed that he understood us; he had demonstrated that he could string together a complete thought using all his communication methods. He had just taught me a sentence in “Matthew”.
Unfortunately I had to explain that vacation was in a couple of months so he would have to wait.
PECS
Matthew has a limited verbal vocabulary, but eat is one of his favorite words and activities. He will say "eat" and point to his mouth when he is hungry (which is almost all the time it seems – he is a teenager after all).
Matthew had been exposed to and was using PECS since he was about 5 or 6 years old. He had his book of pictures with Velcro. He had his daily schedule in pictures. Unfortunately you can’t have a picture for everything. Not a problem for Matthew, he had discovered the phone book!
Matthew uses the phone book like a PECS library. When he wants to go to Applebee’s (he says "Applebee’s" and makes the sign for apple), he flips to the restaurant section. When he wants to go on vacation he finds the airline section (for SW Airline he say “purple orange” the air line colors, for American he says "Red Blue AA") and follows with the hotel section (he say Hotel, or Hotel 8).
The phone book supplements the little talking computer he has. It’s more convenient and handy. And his using it in this way just confirmed that he could draw the relationship between the PECS tools he had learned and a common item in his environment.
The lessons we learned
We have come a long way in communicating with Matthew. Once we had the right goal in mind (learning to speak Matthew), Matthew took the lead and taught us a whole lot.
Listen to the professionals they have a lot of tools that can be used. They introduced us to PECS, Sign Language and the talking computer.
But it's imperative that the professionals listen to you as well. As the parent, you spend more time than anyone with your child. You love him/her like no else can. You have adapted more to his/her needs than anyone else in the world ever will. This knowledge is an invaluable resource for you especially, but also for any good professional.
The most important lesson we learned is, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, who when faced with losing his country, just as you are faced with “finding” you child:
We shall speak with pictures, we shall speak with signs, we shall speak with computers, we shall speak with words; we shall never give up. For we WILL learn to speak our child’s language, and we will share our world with him/her and make his/her world ours.
Matthew as a Second Language
“Whoa, pizza, M, wa pease, Applebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees!”
These are a few of Matthew’s favorite things; of course he sings this to us accompanied by the corresponding hand/body signs. Let me translate.
Whoa
This means “roller coaster”. He says this with both arms raised above his head, his hands waving. Picture a bunch of kids showing off on the roller coaster, before they are out of sight of the onlookers and grab the hand bar for dear life.
Pizza
Just what you think it is. The good news is he will eat the cheap ones – one topping.
While saying “pizza”, Matthew extends one arm and “draws” a circle in the air in front of him with his finger.
M
This one is easy too – McDonalds!
Matthew says this while making the sign for the letter "M".
Thank God for the dollar menu and McChicken sandwiches! I swear if a nuclear war broke out, Matthew would be okay if only one McDonalds with a limitless supply of chicken patties survived.
Wa pease
A compound sentence! Water Please.
Form your hand like you are holding an invisible glass and hold it to your lips!
And finally, the grand finale….
Applebeeeeeee’s
This one is pretty obvious too – it’s his favorite place for a real dinner out, Applebee’s.
This is sung with enthusiasm, as both arms are raised above the head and slightly wider than the shoulders, just like a performer preparing to take a bow.
Perhaps I should begin at the beginning.
Matthew is our youngest child. He is now 14 years old, soon to be 15. Matthew has been diagnosed with Autism.
Those of you who have or care for a child with any disability know what an impact that makes on your life and the lives of those around you. It means you must learn to make adjustments. It means you have to constantly find the strength to accept your child for what he or she is, and the strength to discover what all of you can become. It is not an easy thing, but it is a labor of love. Most of all, it means you must become a “life long learner”, and your teacher is your disabled child.
Now, why did I title this column “Matthew as a Second Language”? Communication is what makes the world go ‘round, and if your child has little or no verbal ability, you have to find a way to communicate with him and he with you.
When Matthew was initially diagnosed with Autism, we met with all the professionals. After all, we were just lowly parents, absolutely unprepared for and uniformed about autism and what it means. We spoke with doctors, teachers, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors and on and on and on.
When Matthew was older, we received all types of professional advice on how to build his communication skills. We were told:
PECS is the answer.
Sign Language will be the best approach. Start now.
A talking computer will solve this for you and he will love it.
We tried them all.
We were repeatedly told: “Matthew has to learn to ‘talk’ like everyone else.” He has to learn to communicate his needs so we can understand him. The focus always seemed to be on Matthew’s ability to “talk” like everyone else, if even through different modalities, like PECS, etc. The goal was to make Matthew as ‘normal’ as possible.
We listened and believed, at first anyway.
As we came to know Matthew as Matthew, we realized how much frustration he was feeling because he could not tell us what he wanted or needed. Honestly, we were just as frustrated. PECS was just so complicated – how do you organize hundreds of little pictures so he can build a sentence “easily”? How easy is it to learn sign language? The computer is a good idea, but you still have thousands of pictures to deal with on multiple screens.
We wanted to know Matthew! We wanted him to know us.
Finally the light bulb went off in our heads. All the pictures he kept handing to us, all the ‘signs’ he kept repeating, all the words he was trying to say, this was Matthew trying to “speak” to us in his own language. He had been learning from PECS, sign language and the computer talker. He had already learned our language. HE understood us. We just had not learned to understand Matthew, in his “language”.
We suddenly realized that getting Matthew to “talk” like us, even with all the tools and techniques was not the goal we should have been pursuing. Learning to talk like Matthew was the better approach, thus “Matthew as a Second Language”. We wanted to know our son, and he had been trying to help us do so.
We had listened to all the professionals and ignored Matthew. In his own way Matthew was working out his own way to “talk” to us.
My wife and I had always said, “Look at his eyes, there is a person in there trying to get out. This kid is not dumb, watch his smile; watch what he tries to do. He is making connections. No wonder he is so frustrated. He has things to say.
Matthew was “talking” to us. We just did not speak his language. The repetition of one word, the “signs”, the grunts of frustration, the attempts with PECS, this was Matthew communicating. We just were not hearing. So we went to school, and Matthew led the class.
Matthew had been learning all the communication tools the professionals had taught us. He had pieced them all together and built his own language. Now we had to learn, and here are some samples of the lessons Matthew gave us.
Sign Language
Matthew had learned to tell us he wanted to go to bed in a couple of ways. The most common was when he put his hands palms together and placing them along side his tilted head, picture yourself mimicking putting your head on a pillow. We knew this sign and understood it.
He also learned to indicate when he wanted to go swimming. He did this by making motions with his arms as if he was performing the breaststroke in a pool, and saying “1…2” (counting his strokes). We knew this sign and understood it.
At one point he started putting these signs together. First he would sign “going to bed” then immediately follow it with the swimming sign. Needless to say, this was confusing. I would usually laugh and tell him that you could not swim in your sleep. He would say “NO!” then grunt at me, and storm off or he’d find some other way to indicate my ignorance.
This went on every day for over a week. One day I woke up and realized he was trying to tell me something else. I told him that I did not understand what he wanted. And I asked him to show me what he wanted, if he could. No grunt of frustration this time.
He took me by the hand and guided me to the hall closet. We kept the closet latched because he would go in there and take out the coats, suit cases and whatever else he could get his hands on. He was good at taking things out, but not at putting them back, thus the latch.
I opened the closet for him. He pulled out a suitcase and repeated the sleeping and swimming signs, followed by pointing at the suitcase. At this point I had a “Eureka!” moment. I looked at Matthew and asked, “Do you want to go to a hotel?”. Boy was his smile big when he replied “yea”.
The gears in my brain started turning. Matthew had not just confirmed that he understood us; he had demonstrated that he could string together a complete thought using all his communication methods. He had just taught me a sentence in “Matthew”.
Unfortunately I had to explain that vacation was in a couple of months so he would have to wait.
PECS
Matthew has a limited verbal vocabulary, but eat is one of his favorite words and activities. He will say "eat" and point to his mouth when he is hungry (which is almost all the time it seems – he is a teenager after all).
Matthew had been exposed to and was using PECS since he was about 5 or 6 years old. He had his book of pictures with Velcro. He had his daily schedule in pictures. Unfortunately you can’t have a picture for everything. Not a problem for Matthew, he had discovered the phone book!
Matthew uses the phone book like a PECS library. When he wants to go to Applebee’s (he says "Applebee’s" and makes the sign for apple), he flips to the restaurant section. When he wants to go on vacation he finds the airline section (for SW Airline he say “purple orange” the air line colors, for American he says "Red Blue AA") and follows with the hotel section (he say Hotel, or Hotel 8).
The phone book supplements the little talking computer he has. It’s more convenient and handy. And his using it in this way just confirmed that he could draw the relationship between the PECS tools he had learned and a common item in his environment.
The lessons we learned
We have come a long way in communicating with Matthew. Once we had the right goal in mind (learning to speak Matthew), Matthew took the lead and taught us a whole lot.
Listen to the professionals they have a lot of tools that can be used. They introduced us to PECS, Sign Language and the talking computer.
But it's imperative that the professionals listen to you as well. As the parent, you spend more time than anyone with your child. You love him/her like no else can. You have adapted more to his/her needs than anyone else in the world ever will. This knowledge is an invaluable resource for you especially, but also for any good professional.
The most important lesson we learned is, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, who when faced with losing his country, just as you are faced with “finding” you child:
We shall speak with pictures, we shall speak with signs, we shall speak with computers, we shall speak with words; we shall never give up. For we WILL learn to speak our child’s language, and we will share our world with him/her and make his/her world ours.